postrevisionist

its silly how the slightest attention can make my mood 6000000x better

today i started a project where im gonna photograph everything i eat idk it’ll be cool i guess

i dont eat fast food and i’ve never missed it and as a vegetarian i’ve never missed meat and ive been doing that for over 7 years and when i was a vegan i only missed foods when i was high and when i was gluten-free i was more of an inconvience than actually missing anything and i dont eat that much processed foods so cutting that out should be really easy too idk im kinda stoked to see how a non-processed, non-carb, vegan diet might work ouT

((((((if my mom is at all willing to buy me anything i need lmaolmaolmao))))))

blllEeerrRRGhhHGHH

I guess I’m bitter that I have no friends here

i want to hide from the world

but i dont want to be alone

constant state of struggle

i woke up this morning crippled by anxiety, and slept for a while, and then i woke up again feeling great and i did all these things and had all this energy, and now its almost 3 am and i’m feeling anxious again and it sucks and idk

if i give myself tasks so im not wasting time, i wont fall asleep

but if i lay here pretending im gonna fall asleep, i wont fall asleep either

so I’ve tried to start my project of photos that represent how bipolar is effecting me - it’s hard because I mostly want to experiment with self-portraits because it’s pretty personal and I don’t want to ask others to represent my emotions for me - but I currently don’t have a tripod so I’m stuck for the moment

ANYWAY

I want to start a second series of peoples relationships with food and eating - both in the comforts of their home while being “alone” and in public areas as a way to reconcile my relationship with food because I constantly have to remind myself that everybody eats - people HAVE to eat - and this series I can do not based on myself but on my feelings which can be cool and seem less personal in the making ???? I don’t know yet it’s just an idea but I’m gonna start to play with it