postrevisionist

Please don’t forget about me

I can’t be upset you need time away from me.  I understand.  It hurt my feelings though that I was aware that you were purposefully not making time for me.  But you told me that.  And that’s okay.  Friends don’t need to see each other every day, but I don’t think ignoring me for a week was appropriate either.  The days here are kinda long.  But go by fast.  But while its day, I don’t really understand things and I’m confused and I’m sad and I don’t want to be confused and I don’t want to be sad.

I don’t want to be told to talk to someone.  I want to be alone.  Leave me alone.  

I’m being whiney.  Stop being whiney.  This sounds more angry than I am.  I guess I have mixed feelings.  I always have mixed feelings.  

I’m afraid to be left.

Please, don’t leave me.

my life should come with a disclaimer of sorts.

you make me feel very dumb and naive.

not sure where I belong.

not sure what I want.

I am a shitty friend to the people that are good to me and a good friend to the people that are shitty to me.

COOL

I feel like a little girl with a silly crush when ur around and I just want u to like kiss my forehead or something lame

Being around you makes me happy.  Cute, short, happy interactions.  Always a little awkward, though.  I like that.  I think we are both sad and a little confused and I want to be around you more.  I hope you make an effort to keep me in your life; I am too shy to.

I realized I am queen of exaggeration.  If someone doesnt text me for a day that doesn’t mean we’re not friends, or that they hate me or whatever.  Things are normal.  And I am dumb.  And I’m glad I have people in my life that will tell me when I am being dumb.  Thank you.

Having different people around me is refreshing.  Having alone time is too.  I’m trying to have alone time that I value and don’t feel sad during.  I’m working on it.

I’m still working on me.  I guess thats obvious because I’m still doing this.  I’m glad I was pushed into this. I hope whoever I become is someone I will like, someone open to trying new things.

I’m trying to channel my energies into better things.

But I still woke up at 5 AM to feel anxious and not knowing what to do.

You promised me you would be there for me and then just left